I've noticed something about my eating habits....I can go a while without eating, until a temptation food is placed right in front of me, then i lose all my will power, and binge!! then I dont stop, I look at it as "ive already ruined my day, why not ruin it more" and i continue to eat... Or if i am eating normally that day, as soon as I finish a meal, im still wanting to eat more. It gets harder and harder to turn down the food after I've after I've already began. Its depressing and Im determined thats the reason I cant get past this plateau I've hit. I also dont understand how the hell did I hit a plateau if I havent even lost a huge amount of weight? For the month of April i've lost a total of 3 freakin pounds. My goal is 9 days away and I dont think I'm going to reach it, which will just set me back 1 month. I cant afford to keep wasting time like this i really want to be 190 by the end of this year.
Last night i was reading up on phentermine and hcg injections and its so tempting for me to just sign up at a weight loss clinic and lose this weight the lazy way with a ton of medications. But i dont want to do it that way. I want to do it the healthy way with diet and exercise but I am so unmotivated. It is so frustrating for me, I dont want to lose hope but i feel like i'm headed down that path. I wish i still had my blog from when i was 14 and losing weight like crazy. I would refer back to it and follow my plans but I cant because they're gone. I know exactly how to lose weight but I never follow through with actually doing it and its probably because of the challenge. It actually takes effort and im a lazy person. I need to get past all these hurdles that im putting myself through, Its nobodys fault but my own. I really want to reach this goal by the end of the month. 250 lbs, that would be all i need to continue on in this journey. But no matter what I refuse to give up. I will finish this, even if it takes me longer than expected.
Im hoping to stick to 900 calories every day until the end of the month. Hopefully then I will reach my goal, or be very close to reaching my goal. So far today I've had 450 cals which means i've already consumed half of my days calories. I can use 450 on dinner... I went grocery shopping today and bought a ton of Campbells Select Harvest Light soups.. 60 calories per serving or less! I also bought some rice cakes (50 cals each) to snack on. I meant to pick up some sugar free jello (10 cals each) but i forgot to grab em. I also bought some pickles (5 cals each) and some non butter popcorn (35 cals per cup), chicken broth AND some lemons because I was considering doing the Master Cleanse for a few days (5 or less) but I realized the grade b syrup was $35. Wayy above my budget. I saw the laxative tea as well but couldn't really see putting myself though that. If i do try the MC it will more than likely be a modified version. With the foods I bought today theres no reason why i shouldnt be able to stay below 900 calories a day for the next 9 days.
Todays food:
Breakfast: apple & cinnamon rice cake - 50 calories
Lunch: turkey with light mayo on wheat, 2 pickles, water - 400 calories
Dinner: popcorn, western fries w/ cheese, ice cream (damnit!)
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Girl,
ReplyDeleteDo not and I repeat do not try phentermine. I did it for a week and I felt like a freaking crackhead. Yes, it did suppress my appetite, but it also gave me insomnia, dry mouth and mood swings. I think during the week I took it, my BF wanted to kill me, because I literally turned into Dr. Jekyll. I know is driving you crazy seeing that same number, but pat yourself on the back that you’re actually doing something.